Ridiculous!
by sarahyyy
Summary: “Granger, I need your help.” “So you kidnapped me?” Funny Dramione oneshot. Includes kidnapping, insults, threats and a very confused Blaise.


**"Ridiculous!"**

**Disclaimer: **No.

**A/N: **For the dramionedrabble Labor Day's Challenge. Prompt was "_Reporter for The Daily Prophet_". Enjoy and REVIEW!

* * *

"Bye Marie, see you tomorrow." Hermione waved as she passed her colleague.

"Don't forget to get me an autograph from Alicia Spinnet when you interview her tomorrow!"

"Gotcha!" She replied as she walked out of the Headquarters of The Daily Prophet. Just as she reached Apparation point and was ready to apparate home to get a nice bubble bath, she felt someone clamped their hand firmly on her shoulder. Before she was able to react to it, she felt herself constricting and finally, the distinguishing crack that signalled an Apparation.

She stumbled a little as they (that is the person who kidnapped her and herself) reached wherever it was that she was taken to. Balancing her body, she stood upright and drew out her wand.

…only to meet the eyes of an amused Draco Malfoy.

"_Malfoy_!" She exclaimed.

"Sorry Granger, if I shocked you." If Hermione weren't already shocked, she would have been gaping like a goldfish at his spontaneous apology.

"Where in Merlin's name are we?" She looked around. There were trees, benches, swings, slides…

"Muggle playground, but it doesn't matter. Granger, I need your help."

"So you _kidnapped_ me?"

"No, not kidnap. I merely _borrowed_ you for a moment or two." He shrugged simply.

"Borrowing without permission is stealing. Or in our case, kidnapping."

"Look, I'm sorry. But I really need your help."

"What is it?" She asked snappishly.

"I'm running for the Minister of Magic, Granger, as you already know," At her snort, he continued, "I need to show everyone that I love Muggles. And that's where you come in."

"…you want me to write an article about your Muggle-loving-ways."

He smiled, "They didn't call you smartest witch of age for nothing."

"Sorry Malfoy, but compliments will get you no where. I won't do it." She turned to walk away.

"Come on Granger, I might be the future Minister of Magic. Think of what favours I could repay you with." He strode after her.

"Why me, Malfoy?"

"Blaise said you had more credibility."

"No, Malfoy. I'm not going to sacrifice my credibility — my _morality_— to help _you_." She tried walking faster, but he caught up with her anyway.

"I would say that your morality was "sacrificed" the day you chose to become an illegal animagus." He stopped walking and a smug grin drew itself on his face.

Hermione froze in her track, gaping. Her palms balled into fists and she turned back to him, "I have no idea what you are talking about. _Clearly_, you are mistaken."

"Tut tut tut… No need to act, Granger. I know. You're a beetle, just like Rita Skeeter. How interesting." He smirked and continued, "I also know that Potter's a stag and Weasley's a weasel. Weasley must have been flaming mad the first time he transformed, eh?"

Her face turned red. Whether in rage or embarrassment, Draco didn't know.

"Alright. Fine. What the hell do you want me to do?"

"Simple, this."

* * *

Blaise Zabini, also known as Draco Malfoy's campaign manager for the Election, woke up the next day to check his copy of The Daily Prophet, doubting that Draco would have been able to convince Hermione Granger to write an article about him and managed to get it on the front page too.

To his surprise…

"**DRACO MALFOY & HERMIONE GRANGER: TO BE MARRIED"**

"_-election candidate is no longer single."_

"_I decided that I should very well get married and Granger and I were very well in love and so why not?"_

"_Malfoy and I will continue addressing each other by our surnames."_

"_-term of endearment, actually."_

"_-we are really happy together."_

"_The wedding? Well, maybe next week."_

"_Report by Marie Stranglazer" _

He blinked once. Then again. Then once more for good measure.

Rushing to the fireplace, he floo'd Draco.

"When I said to get yourself up on the Prophet, I didn't mean it like this." Blaise still looked a little white in the face and Draco grinned back at him.

"Me neither. We were talking one moment about how we were supposed to make the article convincing, and then I believe there were insults and a hex or two. And then all of the sudden we were snogging. Then I decided to ask her to marry me. And then when I thought that things couldn't get more ridiculous, she actually agree and _voilà_, here we are, on the front page."

Blaise blinked again. Thrice.

And then he said, "You remember a few weeks ago when I said that your charm had no effect on the wizarding world?" At Draco's nod, he continued, "Well, I stand corrected."


End file.
